Things in the dark aren’t all magic and jingling bells. Santa Claus sneaks through chimneys, checks his naughty list, and leaves crumbs behind—all while Herbert Hoover warned us about the many unseen forces roaming in the dark.
Herbert Hoover once said,
“A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.”
He probably meant it as a sober reflection on secrecy, hidden agendas, and the things people do when they think no one’s watching.
But let’s be honest, even Santa himself sounds like he belongs on a neighborhood watch list.
Herbert Hoover Things In The Dark Quote
Hoover delivered this line on December 16, 1935, during a speech at the John Marshall Republican Club in St. Louis, Missouri.
He was warning about unseen political forces.
The kinds of deals, compromises, and moral acrobatics that thrive out of public view.
But he probably didn’t realize he’d also given us the perfect setup for a 21st-century takedown of the jolliest intruder in folklore: dear old Saint Nick himself.
Santa Claus Among Things In The Dark
Think about it.
A mysterious man sneaks into your house under cover of darkness.
He watches you all year, keeps a detailed moral ledger, breaks and enters through the chimney, and leaves behind evidence of his visit.
If this weren’t wrapped in tinsel and nostalgia, it would be an episode of Dateline.
Santa Claus has long been portrayed as the benevolent nocturnal visitor.
But Hoover’s quote makes you wonder, maybe Santa isn’t the only one “going around in the dark.”
Maybe he’s the prototype.
- Surveillance? He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. That’s not wholesome — that’s invasive data collection without consent.
- Breaking and entering? He comes down the chimney, no key, no permission. In most jurisdictions, that’s a felony.
- Identity concealment? The man literally wears a disguise: red suit, false beard, magical reindeer getaway car. If this isn’t a cover operation, it’s at least creative trespassing.
- Bribery? “Be good or no presents.” That’s not moral instruction — that’s behavioral blackmail wrapped in shiny paper.
Other Things In the Dark At Xmas Besides Santa Claus
Hoover wasn’t wrong — plenty goes on in the dark, and Santa’s not even the worst offender.
He’s just the most famously well-branded one.
While everyone’s gazing at the Christmas tree, real-world “things in the dark” are out there cutting deals, erasing emails, or quietly “adjusting” their taxes.
At least Santa leaves a paper trail of cookie crumbs.
So yes, there are many things in the dark besides Santa Claus:
Politicians crafting midnight bills, marketers tracking your “holiday shopping journey,” and that one neighbor who insists on testing fireworks in December.
But only Santa gets away with it by saying “Ho ho ho.”
The Real Joke — Hoover’s Quote In 2025
Hoover’s line hits harder now than ever.
The world runs on algorithms, private servers, and encrypted messages — the new shadows of our digital night.
Yet, ironically, the most suspicious figure we still celebrate is the one who literally breaks into homes and watches minors in their sleep.
If Hoover could see our festive season now, he might add:
“A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus — and half of them have two-factor authentication.”
Santa Claus The Ultimate Xmas Thing in the Dark
Think about it: what better way to normalize shady behavior than to make it adorable?
Santa is the ultimate cover story for covert operations.
He’s cheerful propaganda for surveillance culture.
You call it “holiday magic”; he calls it “intel gathering.”
And somehow, we’ve taught generations of kids that being spied on all year is perfectly fine.
As long as there’s wrapping paper involved.
Honestly, Santa might be the most successful soft-power agent in history.
In Defense Of The Man In Red
To be fair, Santa’s never been caught taking bribes — just offering them.
He doesn’t hide offshore accounts; he hides in the North Pole.
And unlike most modern “things in the dark,” he does at least deliver on his promises.
Maybe that’s what sets him apart: in a world full of secretive operators.
Santa’s the only one who still follows through with gifts instead of consequences.
Still, you can’t ignore the optics.
A man operating a global delivery enterprise without declared borders, oversight, or flight plan clearance?
It’s less “Merry Christmas” and more “Seasonal International Incident.”
Hoover Was Right: Things In The Dark Go Beyond Santa Claus
Herbert Hoover’s quote was meant as a warning — a reminder that the night hides more than miracles.
But maybe the joke’s on us:
We celebrate one of the shadiest “things in the dark” every December, complete with milk, cookies, and total suspension of critical thinking.
So the next time someone says, “It’s okay, it’s just Santa,” maybe remember: that’s what everyone says before the break-in.
In conclusion: Hoover was right — “a good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.”
But if you look closely, Santa might just be the CEO of them all.
And honestly? He’s doing suspiciously well for a man who only works one night a year.
